MSN Article

I opened up my browser today and saw that MSN had an article on compromises couples make to keep one another happy, and also the relationship healthy.
There was seven different ones that actually make perfect sense on why this would make a relationship, or even a marriage stronger then before.

1. Time together vs. time apart.
            We all have family and friends that are very important to us, but just because you are in a relationship/marriage you should not ignore them!! I understand most people want to be with their spouse majority of the time, but being away from each other is ideal when it comes to a healthy relationship.  I am a very clingy person, but ever since I have started to make plans with my girlfriends, and not always be with my boyfriend we have so much more to talk about!  I never realized actually being apart from your spouse is a great thing, and can build your relationship 20x better.

2. Decorating styles
          Not all the time do men and women agree when it comes to decorating.  Men don't necessarily care which leaves it all up to the women.  Men really don't understand that women like the opinion of their man!  When it comes to decorating the home you two share, its most best to make sure both of you like the furniture/paint and so on.

3. Tolerance for clutter
         Some people are messy, and some a very neat and clean.  If your with someone who isn't the way you are it gets pretty annoying.  I am a clean person, and I hate when my boyfriend leaves his stuff everywhere so I always have to talk to him about it gets to be to much sometimes.  At the end of the day he agreed to try to keep his stuff off the floor, and neat! Which is really all it takes, sometimes I catch him slip up but for the most part he is doing a good job.  All that really needs to be done it communication between the two on what you want and expect when your sharing a home together.

4. Sleep styles
         This surprised me! 30% of married people sleep in separate bedrooms because they can't come to an agreement on how they would like the room to be while they slept.  Some want it pitch black, some may want a night light.  Regardless there is always a way to come up with a solution even if it has to do with sleeping in different rooms.

5. Sex life
         Make sure there is a balance between both of you to make sure you are both satisfied with your sex life.  Maybe one partner wants to do it every night while another only wants to do it every once in a while.  Some where in between you can come up with a solution, just TALK about it!!

6. Vacation styles
        I know there are plenty of people who do not like to do nothing on vacation, while some do.  A lot of people love to adventure out and do fun things on vacation, if you are one of those people and your spouse isn't don't worry there isn't a problem! Just try to spilt the vacation in half so both of you can enjoy your vacation the way you want.  I would suggest two separate vacations without each other but that is something I would never want to do, but if that's something you want to do go ahead! There is plenty of ways around the fact that both of you might not like to do the same thing, talk and plan it out!

7. Parenting Styles
        I posted a blog about this previously.  Two people have different ways of parenting, and that is something that needs to be discussed before having children.  If you already have children then you need to really sit down and make sure both of you are doing the right thing, and not making one person seem like the bad guy.



I believe all of these things are a way to save & ways that a marriage can fail.  It really is just all up to the couple and the way they handle certain situations.

Communication

As I have stated plenty of time in my pervious post, Communication is a HUGE necessity in having a marriage succeed.  When a couple does not communicate properly they do not move forward in their relationship, which is what being in a marriage is all about.  When two people marry, they are suppose to build each other up to make sure they both move on in life, but with one another by their side at all times. Communication makes this possible! Not communicating with each other just puts the whole marriage on hold, sometimes makes things go backwards.

Communicating with each other, gives you understanding, which makes things a lot easier.  When someone feels that their are not being understood, then they stop communicating.  I strongly believe that is why people stop communicating, because someone else does not understand what they are saying.  Sometimes people don't communicate properly so it makes certain people feel the need to stop talking, and expressing their feelings and so forth. For instance, when my boyfriend, father, or anyone does not understand what I am trying to say, I give up and just leave it alone.  When people don't understand what I'm saying it makes me feel angry! I know others feel the exact same way.  This is something that couples need to work on, being understand of their significant other.

Non-communication in a marriage can also affect the intimacy part of the relationship.  Everybody knows that intimacy has a big role in a marriage, and when that goes down hill, so does the marriage.  When a couple communicates, they communicate about when they want to touch, and when no too, if there is so understanding between the two, then there is a serious problem.

Making time to communicate, or too understand your significant other can fix this problem ASAP!

http://www.theravive.com/services/communication-marriage.htm
http://www.ehow.com/way_5763083_can-lack-communication-affect-marriage_.html

Not Happy

Plenty of marriages fail because there is someone who is not happy.

Marriages don't have to be boring, but when you are in the same routine over, and over, and over again it does get boring.  This is why some people are unhappy, there is no excitement in their marriage.  Even the happiest couples are really hiding the fact that they are a little unhappy with how their marriage turned out.  Sometimes being in a routine, and never doing anything new can seriously affect someone's outlook on marriage.

The way to solve this is too bring up the fact that your unhappy! Once again communication!
Talking to your spouse about being unhappy can change the situation in so many ways. When you admit to not being happy, it could hurt your partner but you need to make sure YOU are okay as well

Another way to solve this issue is to recognize that you are in a boring routine, and figure out ways to solve it.  Go on a vacation, or travel the world together.  Let the kids go ahead and stay with the grandparents and have a stayacation in the living room! There is so many ways to make your partner happy again, and it all comes down too communicating your unhappy.

I understand a lot of marriages do come to an end because they aren't happy anymore, but there is so many ways to fix that problem.  It really is not that hard to realize that you can change your marriage by working things out and trying to keep finding out ways to love your partner, and also your marriage.  If you don't love your marriage, who will?


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2012411/Not-bad-leave-good-fulfil--YOU-trapped-half-happy-marriage.html